Monday, June 29, 2009
its been 7 months into 2009, 7 months into army life.
nothing has been particularly difficult or painful, but life has become stale.
little enthusiasm arises from me, little meaning or magic seems to appear.
of course attributed to my lack of focus.
its just been passing time and trying to have as much fun as possible at the same time
i seem to have lost the heartfelt motives i had in everyday, and i just pray to be really living again.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Havent posted in awhile
Life has been as usual. NS is NS, what can one expect (:
but it hasnt really been the circumstances in there that has been bugging me
its been the climate of negative attitudes and bad influence that has been.
And of course my own spiritual health when i dont keep it in check.
Still i have been learning many lessons and growing much, thanks to the grace of God that has been holding me down and not allowing me to run to far, as well as the influence of my wonderful girlfriend.
Oh yeah every bookout has been awesome (:
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Long time since my last update, so here goes (:
Life has been really great since BMT ended.
The end of life in zulu, where we had avg 1/2 hour admin time, hardcore discipline and so on.
Hardly time to breathe and reflect or anything of that sort, it was just flowing through 9 weeks.
But life is really different now, and its a real blessing to be in armour.
The pay, accommodation, prestige, respect one gets out of it is definitely nothing compared to going to ocs, but i so enjoy the amount of time i have, to read, to call, to do my qt, and basically manage my life once again. The greatest blessing is being able to experience God now regularly everynight. The chance to live life to the max, even in army, something i cannot do in ocs due to the lack of time to manage myself.
Plus the time out of camp with you is well cherished too (:
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Coldplay - The Scientist
Come up to meet you, tell you Im sorry
You dont know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
Nobody said it was easy
Oh its such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh its such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
Im going back to the start
My favourite song, and i only really looked at the lyrics recently, to realize its about God. I have listened to this song at least 500 times but yet strangely never got tired of it.
And i really think it speaks to me as well as many other Christians who go round and round with their relationship with God, failing time and time again, to go back to where we started.
Doing the same thing right now, struggling with my circumstances and wishing (desperately) things would turn out the way i want them, hoping God would change things to my desires. My 2 years depend on this.
On a happier note
Thank you sharyl for always being my unending support and joy.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Havent posted since i enlisted into the army.
And it has been quite an experience and quite a struggle for me.
I think i can sum up my days in army in 2 sentences
Its not the training thats hard to go through
But keeping close to God and accepting all circumstances
Im so blessed to have good platoon mates and commanders
and an enormous support from mainland that pulls me through each day and reminds me of whats important each night. Thank you girl (:
I havent really learned to balance my life yet in army, how to spend my book out time, admin time, how to pray in camp. Im sorry to all the friends who i have pang sehd on weekends, i have skipped a million outings, im learning to balance my army life first.
Field camp is next week, next entry on 20th or 21st Feb..
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Moments are something we do not get often. Point in time where you feel such strong, surreal emotions, stand in the most beautiful surroundings, and they seem out of this world.
Running with God, my in-ears, and you. In bursts of speed and excitement, through the most beautiful neighborhood of green. Turning to see your smile seems to surge me on, and we do. Dash and race off as the traffic light signals, jumping over benches and rocks like children. Talking to God, praising Him for it seems this is the closest i will feel to heaven down here. finally into a field, into a sunset away from the city where we sat down in the middle of nowhere and stared at Him.
The 5k felt like floating.
That already felt like the last day, and i thank God i have one more. Army awaits!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Result taking was okay. Wasnt as nervous as most and was very happy with my 39.
Strangely enough this result didnt mean much to me, even tough it was 2 years of work. Meant even more taking back my art work in a black garbage bag and lugging it home like a dead body.
As much as i like to think i have grown, it has shown that there is still the worst in me that still appears in the right circumstances. and if i cant live right just 1 day seeing everyone again, what about 2 years in army.
as much as other things bring out the worse in me, or i choose to let them thank you for bringing out my best, and making me believe that i can live better (:
